lalala, I'm back! Yay, this is the first time i am using the hostel's wireless to blog lerh, so cool sial, budden the whole system very very very slow lar, i think maybe it has something to do with this lao pok labtop of mine. Anyway, i am so gonna reformat it, if not i think i'll suffer manz.

haha, ok, first i hafta wish myself all the best for my O level Chinese Paper, my WEP, band camp, Appasionata VIII, then my so-called PERFECT holiday revision plan and most importantly my SEC 4! Argh, everything is comin so quickly that i couldn't take it!

ok, next i would like to say thank you to the following people: Sharon and Eevien for always being there for me whenever i need them, YannerZhen and Magic Queen for being such a GOOD bm and dm, Ying Xu for rotting with me and wasting time with me everytime i feel empty in my heart, Yvonne and Fang Xuan and 3/12 for being such a good class, erm...erm...i think still got a lot lerhz...i continue another day lar.

oh fine, now i feel damn screwed up again. you wanna noe why, let me tell you. it is because i just received a very 'NICE' phone call from my parents. oh well, sometimes i really carn understand their thoughts lorh, i've been reflecting on my results and feeling so bad that i was so lan, and all they say was like this,"you are satisfied with what you are getting now larh?no need to improve liao lar?go for band lor, go for your whatever concert lor, since your family not important already liao." it's kinda like translated lar, but what they wanted to say was just as bad, if not even hurting than that.fine lar, yar, i am satisfied to be promoted to sec 4, *my foot ar*, i very smart already, no need for me to study liao, can everyday do my own stuff liao...is that what they want me to say? i think i've got very unreasonable parents. yar, *totally agree*.

again, all thanks to my parents, i haf only three chances to come for band during the holidays, and that includes my concert. so i guess i'll be coming for band camp, the workshop thingy and of course, the concert. it is so irritating but since my results are so bad now, i better listen to my parents and go get some full-day tuition kinda stuff. in conclusion, no more extra time for me! i think my parents are really unreasonable, they just want me to keep away from band if not they threaten to transfer me back to m'sia to further my studies. i mean like hey, i've been surviving good enough down here in s'pore is all because of band lor. how can they actually do this to me?

haiz, now i am really in a very very bad mood. if they think what they are doing is really good to me, then do lar. anyway they don't trust me anymore what. i lost my parent's trust, my phone, my marks, my s'ship, my freedom, my interest and myself this year. i've never felt like this before, being so empty that i can seriously feel nothing in me. probably the only thing that can do me well and fill up the emptiness in my heart is good grades, according to my parents larh. so i guess i'll just follow tem lor, who ask me to bring myself to this kind of terrible state myself?

haiyo, my results are so bad that i don't dare to say that i am a NY gal. is that what my parents want me to say? i think so. maybe i should say that to them the next time i see them. well, then probably i'll get slapped and stuff. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?i've given you all my stuff, i gave up band, i gave up my time, i gave up my interest, i gave up me LIFE to you, so what the heck do you want some more?

argh, sickening life! Life sucks, i guess it's better in my dreams. good nitez.