hello the world. haha, haven been blogging for quite some time. well, everything is almost on track now. yar, like my studies, my life and stuff lar. hee, quite happy to see that my actually my results have shown some improvement.

my chem sucks, as usual. i failed another chem test. i think sometimes i just don't put in what i should. yar, i guess i just haven put in my best larh, that's all. i won't really go and get a F9 for mid-years one. hehe. i won't let myself get it larh.

haha, my physics has shown improvement, even thoughits not really very very obvious. yar, but at least the understanding part is easier for me right now what.hee, i think my dream as a pilot is not that impossible.

well, had the whatever walkathon today. walked from ny to smu, damn crap larh, but i still enjoyed my walk. to all 4/12ers that are reading right now, i love you guys. haha, our class mascot was a packet of milo, yar, milo as in M-I-L-O. yeah, and we sold milo in the morning. i kept stirring and stirring. haha, den i think i had done some contribution yar, by stirring and scooping. haha, milo is a nice drink, and its healthy. haha, i think i overheated my brain during the walk larh, if not i won't be talking cock now, haha.

anyway i am goin to perform at the istana on monday.please go and support. yeah, and i just got to know that sly and taufik will be there before us. haha, hope i get to see him(sly). hee, a bit the dreaming liao. mwahaha, actually i think i am not so much of a fan, coz i still love 5566 more than anybody else. yar, and recently i found out that actually stephen fung is very shuai. yup, so shuai that i can just stare at a picture and stare and stare...

hee, so proud to announce that i cleared all my NAPFA items this year. yar, a bit the lan i noe, but at least this is the first year that i cleared everything what, give some encouragement larh. haha, think nowadays i am managing stress quite well, in fact i don't usually feel very stressed. of course, sometimes stress over things that i still owe the teachers lar. hee, i think that right amount of stress is healthy for our body. coz i feel healthier with some stress which drives me to work hard. yar.

kae lar, write a lot of things l

a new week is about to start. well, there are just so many things waiting for me to do. hope everything will be over soon.

sometimes in life you just have to take whatever you can take. never try to take everything, coz you cannot be sure if it is worth to do so. i am now thinking of not performing for the Art's Fest concert. well, its one great chance to perform there, but yet my studies are very crucial during that period of time. i don't know how to choose, basically because i always sucked at choosing. well, let's see what happens in my mid-years ba.

MID-YEARS is in 2 WEEKS(?) time!!! Argh, i think i'm just gonna die straightaway. but come to think of it actually if i work a little bit harder, life might not be so bad after all. kae larh, for my own good, i shall work extremely hard. anyway this is good for my future what, so i think its very worth my time and effort.

haiz, reading some very lame fan fiction now. damn farnie one. haha, i think people that publish these fan fiction really have a lot of imagination. damn sad lar, like those drama like that, den try to make people cry one. oh yar, got the chance to watch a bit of tian1 guo2 de jia4 yi1 these days. quite nice lar, the story i mean. i totally don't like cyndi's face lar, but the show and the songs in there are very nice.

haiyo, my mother is nagging agian. shall end off here. i'll try to update again this week. oh yar, by the way, li4 wei1 lian2 rawks!!! hee... a bit hua1 chi1 le... haha...

whee, in the com lab now, doing some personal statement thingy. yar, its kinda crap lar, but guess it is useful for me to apply for jobs next time. i realise that to apply for scholarship you actaully need to cheat a lot lar, like to cheat your achievements, and then make people think that you are very good like that.

is life really like that? i don't like to be like that. i mean like you should show what you are and only what you are. there's no point building this fake shell around yourself and live in it. because by the time you show your true self, people get shocked. haha, just like me lar, in the testimonial last time i seem to be such a good student, then it turned out to be a bluff one. haha, people living in illusion should really wake up!

well, band has resumed. i think i would want to go for band is because i just need some form of entertainment. yar, some...but i think band is taking up too much of my time still. like for the past week i have been going back early on non-band days, then i realise i can really finish off my work and use prep time for revision. isn't that very helpful? then on band days i just doze off during prep, thinking that nevermind everything will be alright. what is this man? i don't know, i really don't know.

haiz, actually its not that i don't like band, its just that i feel screwed in my studies when i attend band. and hello, i have O levels lar, i can't possibly just screw up my results right? i don't know what i should feel now, its all getting so numb to me. maybe some of you all think that i am wrong, but please listen to me talking about what i think is right.

its just like the more you say you don't like, the more you care for it. i really try to balance, but i realise i couldn't. so irritating. i don't know le, cocked up in my brain up there. there are a lot of things waiting for me to do. oh yar, and i failed another chemistry test. i can jolly well prepare myself to get F9 in mid-years.

kae, have to go now.

at many times, the more you say you don't care, the more you care.

well, SYF just passed. i'm suppose to be relieved but i don't feel so. in fact, i feel out of place after suspending CCA. yar, just out of place.

NYCB did quite well for SYF, got a GOLD. actually we aimed for GOLD with HONOURS. but anyway, i think somehow something went wrong ba, maybe... everybody had good comments about our performance, but i don't understand why the result was like that.

anyway, i think the band is quite sad as well. however, i don't think that we should be sad anymore. coz since the results are out, why not just accept it and work harder next time? we are getting a little bit out of hand, till the school is a little bit worried of us. haha, i think we should ease their heart lorh, work harder next time round and proof to them that we will eventually get a gold with honours marh.

yar, we should wipe off our tears now and continue our journey in life. i mean like its true lar, life is not just about a SYF competition. essentially there are many more important things in life than this, so what's the point of being sad? kae, sometimes it is unavoidable to be sad larh, i cried also what, but at the end of the day all these should end. NYCB is not a loser band that only know how to cry right?

haha, thought about many things again. i think that the harder i try to let go of things, the more i tend to care for it. just like band, i really tried to let go of it, but in the end i still put in much effort and emotions inside. i don't understand why it turned out to be like that, but i think its just because i was commited to the band before, so when i want to let it go, it is just impossible.

so now i think i shall change my strategy, to love band and study at the same time. well, it might be a bit hard, but i'll try my best. in fact it is not impossible, maybe its just me that matters...

heys, thanks to all those that tagged on my blog. especially kailin, since she asked me to blog about her. haha, i think she is such a farnie friend. if you don't know her, then i guess you are missing a lot of laughters in your life. haha. everything is fine with her, except the fact that i think she's too kind. yar, like as the chairperson of PSGL, i think she should be more fierce. haha, should ask magic queen(sesame seed) to teach her. haha...

orh, by the way, this message is for the basses. jinxing said that we played very well. veyr in tune and very supporting. haha, i hope he can come very often. yeah, he's a very good 'teacher'. yar anyway, just to tell you guys something, actually tuning is not only with the tuner, listening is even more accurate than a tuner. yar, that's all.

kae lar, this entry quite long liaoz, shall stop here. got chemistry and physics test next week. bless me!

harlow the world. 3 more days to go and i will be released! haha, yar, SYF will be over by wednesday, and after that i'll have to shift my attention back to my books.

dear anonymous and haha that tagged my board, i accept what you say, maybe because that what's i also agree with. but still, i have never acted, coz my acting is the cannot-make-it kind yar.

anyway, not very free this week, shall post more nexttime. gtg, bye!

if my playing is the thing that you need, i don't mind giving everything to you.

suddenly it seems like everyone is against me, not exactly everyone, those that i really treated you as friends. it feels terrible to be cheated by feelings, maybe because i treat it the most important thing in my life. yar, i understand that everyone of you have stress and pressure, but that doesn't exclude me right? have you all actually spare a thought for me? you always say that you understand, but actually that is just so that i will trust you and let you walk into my heart. how would you understand when you never even treat it seriously? and then you left me alone, feeling cold out there in the dark, i carn find my way back, but you are just there watching and enjoying.

yar, best friends, that's what you call it. idon't know whether you mean to hurt me or not, but i only know that my heart is now broken. whatever is it, you've broke my heart terribly. i no longer know what is call best friends, because you've just changed the meaning. maybe i am just being too childish, so innocent to believe in this made-up story. what i have to say is that you are just not the one to stay in my heart, because i no longer want to get cheated.

well, you guys are telling me about passion, but do you all really know what is passion? yar, i have real serious attitude problem, just because i don't show the passion? what is this crap?! fine then, if you guys are really so particular about my playing, just throw me the challenge. i guess whatever it is, as long as i am still breathing or even if i play till i die, i'll still do it for you. i'm doing it not because i think i have the responsibility to help you all achieve what you all expect, i'm doing it because i wanna prove to you that looking down on anybody is wrong. to force passion into me right now? i think you better save the energy. today i might still be the slack player, but i will let you see what is call a real tuba player tommorow. i swear...

one thing to note, whatever it is, everything will come to an end after the competition. also, basses (pure bass players), please do not commit the same mistake. play out really loud to shut everybody's mouth, if not you'll get misunderstood very very easily. show the world that basses are never soft, never ever let them have the thinking to scold you, its not worth it. really, its not worth it.