Feeling empty and useless...

sometimes I really wonder if anybody can live in the world without any friends. I know I can't. I will just kill myself if I need to live by myself. what about you?

life is boring in JB. maybe because I no longer have anymore friends here. they all go to schools in JB. and they are all in the same education system. even if you are in chinese school, at least there are still this whole bunch of you together. what about me? I have nobody with me and I go through a different education system. Everything is so different, we no longer talk about the same things. and we will never be able to talk about the same things... wtf...

why the hell did I choose to go study outside leh? I don't know... I chose it myself, and at first I thought everything would be alright... until... and now, I start to look back... then I think and think and think... think so hard for what? I don't know again... aiya, maybe this is how I work larh... choose something then go and look back and regret... what a stupid thing to do right?

now listening to rainie's song... think actually she quite cute... maybe because she's the lead in devil beside you (e mo zai shen bian)... yar, then together with he jun xiang... oh, by the way, he is very shuai!!! yar, and I think that show is nicer than wang zi, coz very complicated storyline... even though not a lot of shuai ge like wang zi...

nowadays arh, watch a lot of shows... the rainbow connection (wu chu cai hong) very interesting. and I think that wang jian yi very qian bian. coz he chose xiaoqian! aiyo, he rubbish larh, torture yoyo until like that. but come to think of it arh, who will like people like yoyo larh, she's so arrogant and stubborn.

back to my life at home. now everyday only got my family members pei wo. so boring. how I wished for some friends to go out with me. but again, I have no friends here anymore. even those that were once close to me are no longer close. you know, the kind that just drifts apart once you don't remain in contact.

went to some kopitiam that day. realise that its anna's mother's shop. haha, the food and coffee there very very nice. and the bread there very nice also. nowadays got a lot of kopitiams around my place. nxt time if any of you come to JB must tell me, then I bring you all there.

hrm, tml is appassionata 9. all the best for you all. I don't think I have a right to go back already. coz I failed badly as a band mate and a senior. I am truly sorry. but I will miss you all. don't know larh, going back somehow is a very awkward thing to do. coz not as if I have contributed a lot to the band. and honestly I don't deserve the respect. yar, sorry!

kae larh, this post I think should be the last post for the time being. coz I am flying off to italy on saturday. elaine, I am going to meet your boyfriend larh, you don't be angry hor! haha, I will try to buy things back, provided the things are not to expensive there. I hope that it is not, then maybe all of you will get.

erm, must go and pack le! if not my mum will start her scoldings again. haha, all the best in everything you do! tataa!

haha...kae larh, yesterday very busy, so never come and blog.

haha, busy doing what leh? haha, busy shopping. bought not much stuff larh, but quite tiring leh, coz only my mother buy stuff. whoa, tell you all arh, the SK-II thingy is so ex lorh, my mother actually spend quite a huge sum on it. then got shopping voucher, so helped her spend everything, if not she will just let it expire and throw it away, then she will complain to me saying that how we wasted all these vouchers. haha...

erm, a bit the high now. just had bittergourd soup for lunch. so nice!!! hee, I think this is the most enjoyable thing to do at home. at least can eat and eat... haha, sin so much. aiya, later become pig next time. haha, think now I pig already larh. maybe next time I piggier. haha...

hrm, now downloading music. haha, very long time never do so already. aiya, now no time to do cards for the juniors. don't know why I so busy nowadays leh. busy sleeping and pei-ing my family. haha, feel so xing fu, but at the same time feel farnie. coz nowadays cannot read stuff. feel as if I never study before.

talking about this arh, I feel so accomplished after Os. haha, coz at least I have been studying. Really. but somehow i very scared that once the results come out arh, I will have surprises here and there. honestly speaking arh, I have never studied so much in my whole and entire life before. yar, so now I sincerely hope that everything will be fine. not necessary must be distinctions, but at least what I think I deserve.

haha, so funny, now then talk about this a bit the late arh. hee, I tell you arh, one very very farnie thing happened. haha, my primary school friends actually asked me out for gathering leh. haha, so so so unexpected. hahaha, when i first heard about it arh, I didn't know what expression I was suppose to put on. coz this seem so wierd.

actually I also don't know larh. four years outside made me die from the JB society. for the past years I think nobody has ever remembered me down here. maybe I am really that kind of serious person, i don't know, but I don't feel so. its just that in primary school that time like no close friend like that. and thus I left my primary school very happily, looking forward to my interesting ny life. haha...

now that secondary school life has ended, I start to wonder if the identity that I have been trying very hard to create for the past years will start to fade away or not. somehow I think that 10 years down the road I will be another nobody that nobody will care about. maybe like this coming primary school gathering like that, I am invited because it is a routine that they must contact everybody. how? I don't know what to expect, maybe I will be left out again. haiz...

kae larh, realise that this post is actually very crap de. haha, shall go and watch tv now. tataa!